Chapter 1 – The Wall


Imagine one day waking up and finding out that there is no Sun for you.

Yes, it means that there is no Sun for you and you only .

The Sun has risen and it has lit up the whole world. Like always. Like the infinite number of days that were there before you existed and the infinite number of days that will come even when you cease to exist, but its not there for you anymore.

Your vision has been blurred by an opaque wall through which you can still observe what is happening around you and when you do, you can come to only one conclusion – rest of the world is going on like everything is fine. Its only you who has been abandoned by the Sun. The wall around your vision is only opaque and not pitch black because the universe wants to remind you that its only you who is missing out the Sun.

Everyone else is doing just fine.

You find your way to go through life. You establish a routine which helps you to go through it but it never helps you to get used used to your colorless life. You start wondering if its the same for a gold fish living in a fish bowl. Since its vision of the world through the glass must be distorted.

Does it get used to it?

Does it establish a routine inside the bowl its living in and go on with life like you do?

Does it keep on living with a constant discomfort and endless questions?

But gold fishes do not speak. You start speaking less too. The people around you, they don’t see the wall.  But if you communicate to them for long, they understand that there is something off about you. So you don’t. You understand that the opaque wall exists only around your vision and not around their’s. As if it’s not real, as if it’s a disease.

For the first time in your life, you hope that you have a disease. Since some diseases are curable. May be there will be a way to cure your disease too.

Even if it’s not a disease, you hope that one day, some day, you will get your Sun back. Your world will be colorful and vibrant again, like it was once. May be one fine morning you will wake up and there will be a sunlit world before your eyes and that day you will know that you have been forgiven and the wall has vanished.

You keep yourself tied to your routines. You keep your conversations short and simple. You no longer make real connections to people. If you sense that there is someone who is trying to connect to you, you withdraw. You bury yourself in your own world, in your own scent.

Yet you live in your world, in your blurred down, colorless world with one hope that one day, someday, everything will be fine. Time passes in minutes and in days. Your will decays along with your body and soul. But the hope in you, remains.

So does the opaque wall.

***

(To Be Continued…)

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Everyday, Every Night


***

Chaos all around.
Humble orders and stern requests,
Friendly gazes and intruding stares,
Wants to chew me in,
Everyday,
And throw me out,
Every night.
Into my bed.

***
Peace is in your thoughts.
You are part of my mind.
You are part of my soul.
You are my oasis like nights.
Every breath with you,
Fills me in.
Your every word,
Makes me a better man.

***

I am not of my own.
I am always inside,
But my mind is not.
I listen, but I don’t.
I write, but I don’t.
I see, but I don’t.
I feel and yes I feel.
For I feel only about you.

***
Chaos all around.
Simple people and twisted plots.
Short notices and longer waits.
Fortunate accidents and ill fated days.
Chaos is in my mind,
Chaos rooted deep into my flesh.
Chaos is not at my heart. Because, you, my love,

Don’t share your room with anyone else.

Why Buddha Touched the Earth?


*******

On a moonlit night

Under the starry sky,

He sat under a giant fig.

He has been suffering inside longer.

Truth of life was all that he did seek.

He was born to be a king,

To elude hunger, sadness and poverty.

Yet he sat under a Fig,

Away from all his belongings,

Fighting fearsome battles inside.

He fought the battles for many a days,

Winning over all of his six enemies.

He conquered fears that the demon brought,

He placed his left hand on his lap and

Touched the earth with his right.

The earth witnessed as he defeated his demons.

On the forty ninth night he found the truth.

He set himself free from his desires,

He set himself free from the cycle of rebirth.

He touched sky even though his feet never left the earth.

Desire brings actions we regret.

The purpose of life is to make us perfect.

Until we are perfect, the cycle of endless rebirth repeats.

He broke the spell and set himself free.

The earth witnessed a miracle under the fig tree.

~Two Little Mice~


Two little mice fell in a bucket full of cream

They were scared and they did not know what to do

It was a ‘sweet’ end to their lives as it seemed

One of them tasted the sweetness and drowned without a clue.

The other one was a hard little fellow

It wanted to taste the cheese at the end of the race

It tried so hard to get out of that damned bucket

When it did it was full of a buttery mess!

/*Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.- Catch Me If You Can (2002)*/

/* Its been quite a hard time at work for last couple of weeks. Hope I make my way through like the second mouse. */